You know what's scary? I've grown up in a belief system that took the love, joy, freedom out of the most sacred, feared, respectable relationship there is. It's decided to make us stand out for abortion and gay marriages  instead of being known for the love and compassion of our Redeemer. It's been treating symptoms while ignoring the disease. It's been shooting at the hostage instead of the enemy. It's made ignorant zealots out of the best of us.

Oh, Satan. You are crafty.

It's kind of amazing that I can feel optimism right now. I'm tired of dealing with death. Eighty year olds deal with friends dying. Seventeen year old girls shouldn't be having to deal with two deaths within three months. It's unreal. I just feel numb to it all. And knowing how everything's been since Caitlin, I guess is what's giving me optimism right now. God really is good. As much as I've been mad at him and trying to ignore him these past couple of days, that knowledge is always right on the top of my thoughts. Everything is going to work out. I know it will. I HAVE to know it will. Otherwise there is no way I would be able to get through all of this.

I am exhausted. I've played soccer religiously for 12 years, and it has never made me this drained in a single day. Today was the single most stressful day of my life. I don't remember anything about it other than the fact that I finally got everything done for our issue to be sent to the printer tomorrow. And you don't wanna know all that it entailed. Seriously, shoot me. And this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Yuck.

So I'm tired. And I'm going to Kenya this summer.

Idk, whatever, I'm going to bed.

    'm really excited about Christmas. And I didn't get that way until like five minutes ago. But that's okay. I'm listening to Aaron's Christmas music and Mom's in the kitchen making ginger snaps. It's niiice. Tonight is Laura's Christmas partaay. I'm exsshhhoited.

OH! so Ethan, Natalie, and I had our first annual "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" CHRISTMAS PARTY! on Wednesday. It was so much fun, I love those kids. Josh came over later and we made realllly dumb videos and went to Starbucks. I mean, along with watching It's a Wonderful Life. I didn't realzie how long that movie sis. Crazy. We had several intermissions, but we did succeed in finishing. Anyway. I have pictures. And just because I'm that devoted to alllll of you, my xanga subscribers that are actually reading this, I'm gonna post 'em. You can thank me later.

"I don't know what to do with my hands ...."

Studly.

We were very against getting Natalie a picture with the hat.

Profile picture! GET IT??

Ethan missed the memo about you know, actually getting IN the picture.

 
Maybe that's why ...

I'm not really sure whose idea this was .. but then we played that game where you're like ACT SAD and then you take a picture ... LAME-OOO. HAH. kidding. It was way fun.

Okay there's like a thousand more and I don't feel like uploading them, BYEEE.

I just watched the episode in season one of the O.C. where Marissa and Ryan are broken up over Oliver, and I feel like I was the one who just got dumped. That's not pathetic is it? Maybe they just have a really good writer. Heaven knows it's not the acting ...

I have a recital in one hour and forty-five minutes and I suck at my songs. This could be exciting.

OH OH! Aaron's home! And he won't give me my present from Austria cuz he's JERK. Or because the first thing I told him when he got home was that he looked disgusting (that beard has just gotten a little out of hand) and the second thing was me asking what he brought me. I don't know why that would justify him not giving me my present, but whatev. I'm kidding. I love you Urn.

I love Rooney.
BYEEE XANGA.