It's kind of amazing that I can feel optimism right now. I'm tired of dealing with death. Eighty year olds deal with friends dying. Seventeen year old girls shouldn't be having to deal with two deaths within three months. It's unreal. I just feel numb to it all. And knowing how everything's been since Caitlin, I guess is what's giving me optimism right now. God really is good. As much as I've been mad at him and trying to ignore him these past couple of days, that knowledge is always right on the top of my thoughts. Everything is going to work out. I know it will. I HAVE to know it will. Otherwise there is no way I would be able to get through all of this.